Jo Lee
Book Worm
Posts: 103
Registered: 6-6-2009
Location: Canada ...Ontario ...Earth ...my house :)
Member Is Offline
Mood: I want to go to wonderland too!
|
|
Neglect of Time
I've been experimenting with poetry and i kind of like my results, but as i've always said "all writer's are a bit narcissist of their own work" so i
would love some feedback of this poem that i wrote called Neglect of time. here it goes  :
weeping in the rain
a lone boy stands in shadow
as droplets fall upon his head
a trinket clatters against a treebranch
tangled up in the boughs
while people pass on the sidewalk
and birds sing in the downpour
and tears fall from the sky above
crying for the lost boy
he sits alone
against the cold hard brick
shivering
abused and neglected
closes his eyes
and passess
while people walk
birds sing
trinkets chime
and rain falls in the night
|
|
|
janee.
Beyond Help
Posts: 2108
Registered: 21-6-2009
Location: somewhere here. but not really.
Member Is Offline
Mood: contemplative. ♥
|
|
I like it...
It's mournfulish
But nice and descriptive
“A young girl is a creature of dreams, my lord.
A woman with one foot in the world of fantasy,
searching for the face of true love in every handsome boy she sees.”
On the Edge - Ilona Andrews ♥
|
|
|
xXoliveXx
Avid Reader
Posts: 14
Registered: 31-12-2010
Location: anywhere theres books!!!
Member Is Offline
Mood: depression sucks
|
|
this is really cool in a kind of morbid way---i love it!
~OLIVE~
|
|
|
Geraldinehenry
Avid Reader
Posts: 1
Registered: 18-10-2012
Location: Nikis 49 Stavroupoli,Thessaloniki, Thessaloniki,Gr
Member Is Offline
|
|
The same feeling with you
|
|
|
![[*]](images/corporate/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
